Is Monogamy Dead? by Rosie Wilby

Is Monogamy Dead?

Should we all be having open relationships? Isn’t everyone a little bit Poly? These are just some of the questions comedian Rosie Wilby raises in her new book Is Monogamy Dead?

Is Monogamy Dead – The Blurb

In early 2013, comedian Rosie Wilby found herself at a crossroads with everything she’d ever believed about romantic relationships. When people asked, ‘who’s the love of your life?’ there was no simple answer. Did they mean her former flatmate who she’d experienced the most ecstatic, heady, yet ultimately doomed, fling with? Or did they mean the deep, lasting companionate partnerships that gave her a sense of belonging and family? Surely, most human beings need both.

Mixing humour, heartache and science, Is Monogamy Dead? details Rosie’s very personal quest to find out why Western society is clinging to a concept that doesn’t work that well for some of us and is laden with ambiguous assumptions.”

Well is it?

This book is very different to the type of book I usually read. It’s non fiction, written by a comedian, and discusses whether we would all be better off having open relationships ( a marriage or relationship in which both partners agree that each may have sexual relations with others). So what would I, as a happily married woman who does not believe in open relationships make of it?

The book is written as part memoir, part study into relationships in all their shapes and forms. Rosie is searingly honest in her journey to discover whether she can truly be monogamous. Is it simply a case of being in the wrong relationship? Is her past to blame? Society? Or the fact she is a lesbian? Rosie delves in to these topics and more throwing words out like Polyamory, Compersion, and Breadcrumbing. I dread to think what advertisers will now make of my google history!

Alive and kicking

Fear not, Rosie walks you through all these new phrases. The reader discovers them at the same time she does and it makes for an eye opening read. Anecdotes are provided from those in gay, bisexual and heterosexual relationships to illustrate how attitudes differ and Rosie is respectful in everything she touches upon. I was pleased long suffering ‘Jen’ had her say as I suppose in a way it was her that I most identified with. Monogamy is very much alive for me yet I found the book illuminating, Rosie held me throughout, even if at times I didn’t/couldn’t follow the path she was choosing. It you’re a fan of Rosie’s work, you will like it. If you’re curious, you will find it informative and if you’re struggling you will discover you are not alone.


My thanks go to Accent Press for a copy of the book in exchange for an honest review. If you liked this have a read of our This Queer Angel extract about life as a lesbian in the armed forces.

Is Monogamy Dead by Rosie Wilby
Is Monogamy Dead by Rosie Wilby